My Life is Hell! [Also Your’s?]
by Mayur Chandpara, Last updated on February 3rd, 2019,
“My life’s hell!” if this is what you say and get sad or break yourself up? This is only what you need to do is.
Just ask yourself what made you state that.
The answer will be as simple as “You felt or had such kind of feeling”.
If I am right then I can say that the only way to heal from this is to cut out that feeling. I know that’s not an easy task but if you can then your life will change as a fortune.
What worst could happen to you? Did someone dump you? took your job? said you are bad at everything? said you’re not lovable?
The problem who’s reason would be “Someone” has a very easy solution.
The person who is demotivating you is self-demotivated by others. It’s a big social disease that “What the people will say?”.
Why would you give your life’s handle to such peoples? But I must say that it’s not their words effecting you but It’s the one you who’s demotivating yourself.
You know that whatever you did was right. Then why you just change your mind? You know better and more of that situation then why you let others make you feel wrong? They were never there in that particular situation. And moreover, you are you not them.
So due to this process of changing yourself as others could end up making you feel such kind of feeling like hell. And if sometimes it is necessary to hear what was our mistake and improve then accept it fully and do not feel. “Cut that feeling people.”
As you’ll learn how to cut feelings you’ll see that you are now sad proof. You’ll make the right decision every time.
“Hehehe” by the way every possible decision is the right one unless it is impossible.
Just the thing is that “The decision” would be the right one for few people and some times the wrong one. So if you are trying to find some rules on the right and wrong? then you’ll be right and wrong at the same time. But understand that the wrong thing is the one which is impossible.
So please try to stop judging everyone else and stop justifying yourself. I bet you that you can’t feel what others feel. Or you can’t change what one’s think. Then why we would do that same mistakes again and again.
It’s even happens with the products we like, we would love one’s design but not the colour and we still buy that product if it’s really close to once heart.
So, here you can’t change the colour of the product but still, you wear and love that. And if you would buy and try to change that product you’ll end up with a bad quality or you’ll not like that product. I swear that happens.
Another example can be, a phone is much more powerful and it’s your types too but you didn’t like the design or colour when you watched it for the first time.
But still, you’ll buy that particular phone and the interesting thing is that you’ll love using it and you’ll never notice that design or colour change. Instead, you say that this design is worth it and this colour is even worth it after some time.
See you would be smiling at this moment too?
If you are firm determined that you’ll find happiness in smallest part of your life. Congratulations you’ll always succeed in finding that and you’ll forget the feeling of hell.
In the starting phase you might feel such good feeling above the hell one for short period but slowly you’ll make that for a long time. And I even guess that if you’re feeling good over that hell’s feeling for even a short period then that would be the best feeling for that short period of time.
Come on folks you are great and strong persons. Feeling hell is not a hard part but the challenge is all about changing that hell feeling with a nice and fresh good feeling. And saying to that hell’s feeling that see you can’t make me lose my life so easily.
The main thing is I’m still alive and I have my life, and until I have my life going I have the power to change it. I don’t want to finish it as hell.
I am the one who challenges you Mr Hell Feeling, Go ahead and try your best. But I’ll always beat you every single time. The person who wins his/her feelings can live and get through most of the situations.
And to get there the person should know that the feelings work for us and they should be at our command, not the feelings should command us.
Let’s take a situation in which person1 is trying to harass person2 by saying the things which the person2 is not liking. So there are two options or 3 if you want to make but I’ll not mention that.
The First situation can be like this, the Person2 feels the words by person1 and that results in depression of person2 and enjoyment for person1 and due to which the person1 will try to repeat this thing for the next time he meets person2. So this cycle would go on and Person2 would get depressed and would have the feel of the hell.
Whereas in the second option the situation can be, the Person2 listens to the person1 and doesn’t react on the person1 in any way or he replies with a smile and stays positive within and that results that the person2 doesn’t feel depressed by the words of person1 and the person1 would feel awkward he would not be able to enjoy that situation. So the person1 would not ever try to make fun of himself so he wouldn’t do that again. The matters “solved” and “No hell feelings”.
What do you think about this both situations? you can say that in the comments, I will love to hear from you. This is my personal experiences a long time ago. If you had this kind of situation then mention that in the comments with the reaction of yours. I think that it is a situation that one has been through it.
Never try to explain yourself to others repeatedly as if the person does not get you or understands you that means he/she has another idea for the same thing in his/her mind so that will always conflict in between so stop explaining yourself. Why are you trying to force someone to accept your ideas and thoughts? They also have a different life and they are the epic centre of their lives. Do you know everything about that person? Do you know what soft is really soft for that person? Do you know is he broken within or not? You can’t know everything about any person.
Everything suffered by a human makes him what is he today. Human learns by experience and watching others. The things human learn through their own experiences are hardcoded into his mind. It is possible that a person could forget the thing he learnt through watching but self-experience learning can’t vaporise so easily. Self-experience learning is the same key to make a human strong or weak for same situations. The fear or confidence for the same things are the results of different experiences a human had in his/her lifetime. So basically you never had the same experience as other human had not even he/she is your brother/sister.
Some short of outcomes(beliefs) can be in common “only some” in two humans but even though they have common outcomes it is not necessary that they would have same experiences. Let’s take an example you and your friend know that touching hot objects can result in burning skin. But the experiences can be different. You got burnt by touching a hot vessel and your friend got burnt by touching a firewood/engine/boiler/etc. So you do not know the depth of feeling your friend got in his/her situation and vice-versa.
If you are still reading thank you for giving my work some credits. And if you are not still reading still thank you for reaching this article. Hehe, one more example of changing the feelings. A little change in the way of watching can change one’s mental state. That way not only example I am heartily saying thank you to people who visited this article and spend their valuable time on reading my piece of work/experience.
It’s not over yet:
If you are still feeling that huh what Mayur is saying he even don’t know what is he saying. If yes then this reminds me of one great change in the present situation of the world. There was a time when people use to show-off how happy they are. And nowadays people are in a competition that, “I am the only person who is having the worst life or badest situation in the whole community”. People are seeking for sympathy, not love. Hey, human what happened to you?
I’ll tell you a thing and you’ll say yes or no that happened with you or you watched that happening? When a person is trying to get empty(as he says but tries to show-off) his/her emotions people around them would say this thing “Aaah! What happened to you is nothing? You know what happened to me?” and then they start to say their situation. So Yes or No? Have you watched this happening or have you did such thing or have you experienced this?
In the above questions, many of you will choose they have watched and they experienced it but least of you would say yes they did unless they are true to themselves. This is a big sign that you are only the one who is responsible for making such kind of social life and situation around our human community. Blaming others even we know that directly or indirectly we too are responsible is our favourite work to do. He did that/ He is responsible for that/He’s the one to quarrel/etc.
Someone dumped you:
Here you are blaming your X that he dumped you. Okay Okay, It happens sometimes that you did it full heartily but he was a runaway guy. So in this kind of situation what should you do? You can share your answer in the comments below before reading further.
What should you do to not feel the life’s hell? Firstly I would like to say you that, “You know he/she never deserved to be with you”. “It’s his fortune that he/she was with you”. But the things can be different too. You might be reading this after dumping someone for some valid reasons. Valid reasons have no rules. A valid reason is a reason on which the person agrees. You might say that /heshe always believed that I was not his/her kind of person. Yes then you did the right thing, It’s good for you both. But as now that you have decided that you have left her then just go with the flow. Try to think that what betterment you have done for her/him.
The person who has to come will come and go in the whole life. Some of them are special they play their role and they leave. Your life is not over after someone leaves you. Yes, that might hurt you people but again as we said earlier CUT THE FEELING boss we have to show that Mr Hell feelings, try your best. There are many different reasons to live by after such incident. Do Not make your goal that I’ll show him/her what he/she did to me. Never ever do that. If a person comes to your life and goes no matter how many times. You should know that he/she has become a part of your life so he/she has not lost. They are just the past of our life.
And I bet you would have different goals in your life which would make you feel much better. If not then I tell you Mr/Miss that whenever you were with your X then you would think of something together but you would have even think what you want to do. So that’s not gone anywhere, the person left and his moments left but the thing which was yours is still yours. Go ahead and start something that is yours. Your ideas your thoughts that are yours.
I want to say a thing that “You are alone in your own world. No one knows what’s your whole world is on and about.”
As the above line says you are alone in your own world. Let me explain to you that Your brain is your whole world the world you are watching right now is your world. The things and the person are there is made by you.
You have your own world and you are alone here. You are the creator of that world:
You are the center of the universe.
Did you know the whole world since your birth? NO, you don’t the way you have grown up by watching different people you learnt the whole world this way. You even didn’t know that what is water. If you were taught to say melon to water then the water would be melon for you. Same way the person you know the things you know are the images and thoughts which you have in your brain.
Another example A man named Michel went to meet his close one named Peter to get fresh and feel relaxed. Michel uses to say that Peter is too good and nice I am happy and lucky to get him in my life. This proves that Peter is a Nice and Gentle Person. But when Michel reaches to meet Peter, he saws that Peter is standing with a knife in his hand. When Michele tried to ask him what happen dear, all of a sudden Peter grabbed him and stabbed him 21 times.
I am sorry but this was an example and just fictional. There’s no one dead or murderer but such kind of cases are available to hear. So I guess that you got the point. The people you are looking at or talking to are not the real person but they are the one you know them as. This proves that the world you are looking at is your own world the world which you created. So the feelings which you are feeling is yours.
So basically I want to say that every person has his own world. You are playing a different role in different person world and you are the main lead in your world. You only know about you completely. You cannot know completely about another person in the whole world. You can’t feel what others feel. Then why you want to change others world? Why you are trying to hurt your world just due to the reason that you can’t change others world.
I am just a Character in others world:
Have you ever seen that a supporting actor takes decision for the Hero in any film? You might saw supporting actors suggesting a way or a plan and then the lead actor accepts the idea and makes his own and does the task.
Same way try to listen to different reviews of different person but try to filter the thoughts and accept the one which is acceptable to you. As you are the creator of your world so you know what is acceptable plus you can fix if something goes wrong. But if you are just following others then you have to go and ask them again and again, even for any problems you have to wait for them to suggest and you try to fix the problem. But the problem can or cannot solve with the solution from another world.
And to people who always try to navigate others and forces them to go on their way, I beg you request please make your world a better place. Rather than try to make others lives better. What you’ll get in finding someone’s problems? in blaming others? in forcing to follow you? in making others your depended? Yes for sure you should share your experiences but forcing on others that’s not a fair play.
Thank you If you are reading till here. Any extra Ideas on this are welcomed to post your comments. Your responses would make me write another such article.